Path to Forgiveness

There might be someone or some people in our lives who might have hurt us. There might even be a point where we did something that hurt others. When we continue to ruminative on these events in our lives, we pro-long the suffering that was caused from the initial act. Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was “okay”, it is choosing to move on in a direction that allows for healing and growth and releasing the hold these circumstances have on us. It is about not letting the past control our current emotional states.

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions:

Are there people you want to forgive for things they have done to you?

Are there people who you would like to ask forgiveness from?

Are there things that you would like to forgive yourself for?

After identifying the point of forgiveness, try one of the techniques bellow.

Empty Chair

Place an empty chair or imagine a chair in front of you. Imagine the person with unresolved feelings sitting in this chair. Maybe this is someone from the past, current moment or yourself.
Now say everything you have wanted to say that you might not have felt safe to do so in the past. Allow yourself to release what is inside, without holding back or filtering. Allow the emotions to arise from this experience, remembering that they are a normal response.
After, notice how your body feels. How would you describe it? Lighter?, tense?, relieved?
Explore words of closure as these emotions begin to soften, You could say: “I no longer want to carry the weight of this pain” “I release you so I can find peace within myself” “I see now that my younger self was doing the best they could.”
Now imagine your future self sitting in the chair, what wisdom or words of support might this version of you say?
Carry this awareness with you as you move forward, noticing any shifts in how you feel throughout the day.

Unsent letter

Find a quiet place to write
Begin writing to the person who you might want to extend forgiveness, a past person, current person or yourself. Don’t worry about filters or grammar. Express everything you might have been holding back. Describe your perspective of what happened and what you wish would have happened. Explain how this hurt you.
Allow feelings to arise from this letter, acknowledge their presence without judging them, they are a valid response. Notice where these emotions are being held in your body.
Consider forgiveness, when we choose forgiveness we are not saying that the hurt is not real, we are choosing not to let the past impact our current state of emotions. What words of forgiveness might you consider for this situation?
End by saving this letter to revisit it when needed or dis-guarding it as a way to release it’s hold.

JOURNAL PROMPT

Who might you want to forgive in your life?

What technique called to you the most?