Using PARTS to Understand Yourself

Working with parts helps us develop greater self-awareness and compassion by recognizing that our thoughts and emotions come from different aspects of ourselves rather than our whole identity. Instead of being overwhelmed by feelings like anxiety or self-criticism, we can see them as parts with protective intentions. This perspective reduces shame, calms inner conflict, and makes space for healing past wounds. As we listen to and integrate these parts, we build emotional balance, gain more choice in how we respond, and strengthen a sense of wholeness. Over time, this not only improves our relationship with ourselves but also deepens empathy and understanding in our relationships with others.

How to do: parts

Notice that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
that often come from different “voices” or “parts” of you. For example, one part may be critical, another may be playful, and another may feel scared. Each part has a role, even if it feels unhelpful at times.
Acknowledge Without Judgment
Instead of pushing a part away, get curious. Say: “I notice there’s a critical part here. I wonder what it’s trying to do for me.” Often, even harsh parts are trying to protect you from shame, failure, or rejection. Ask yourself “How might this part be protecting me?”
Relate Differently
Shift from this part being an identity (“I am a failure”) to relating to it (“A part of me feels like a failure”). This creates distance and allows space for compassion.
Talk With the Part
Imagine dialoguing with it. Ask: “What are you worried about? What do you need?” Listen as if you were listening to a friend.
Transform the Relationship
By recognizing and appreciating the protective intentions of parts, they often soften. For example, the inner critic may ease up once it feels seen and supported, instead of going to battle with it. This helps us release the judgement and desire to push these parts away, and learn to approach them from a compassionate place.

JOURNAL PROMPT

What “Parts” of you can you identify? How might you begin to shift the relationship with them?